At times this year, the Arctic Monkeys have seemed almost embarrassed by their success. It's the antithesis of the Oasis way. "I've never understood that kind of thing. Like the Clash going, 'We're not playing on telly.' Well fuck off then. When we first started we said we were the greatest band in the world. We should have said we were the best band in the charts. 'Cos to me, the world is the charts. I don't give a fuck about Radiohead and all that indie nonsense. I was brought up on the top 10. Slade, T.Rex, David Bowie. If you're not in the charts, you don't exist. BMX Bandits? Four people are listening to it in Hull. I went in there to get Phil Collins' severed head in my fridge by the end of the decade." Which, in a manner of speaking, he did. "I came from a shithole in Manchester, right, so it was all brilliant to me. Even touring in a transit van was better than being in my flat. Then when we got a deal, we were like: 'Bring it on!' I wanted the big hairdo, big shades, big car, big house, swimming pool, jet, drug habit, a mirrored top hat and a chimp. All of it. The Kasabian lads told me they'd only get out of bed to read about us in the paper. And what would you rather read? 'The guy from Keane's been to a rabbit sanctuary 'cos one of the rabbits needed a kidney implant, so he swapped his with it' - or 'Liam Gallagher sets fire to a policeman in cocaine madness, while his brother Noel runs down Oxford Street nude'?" No doubt Kasabian loved the story about Gallagher visiting the victorious Tony Blair, in 1997, at his Downing Street reception and asking the new PM how he'd managed to stay up all night during the election; "Probably not by the same means you did," was Blair's knowing reply. [...] He has no sympathy for those for whom fame is a burden. He doesn't sit in his country house (though he has one) counting his millions (though he has several). "Life is a great thing, why shut yourself away from it? I can't understand people like Elton John and Robbie Williams going straight from their blacked-out limos to a restaurant. I stand in the queue at Waitrose. More rock stars should do that. Forget therapy, go to the supermarket and interact. [Noel Gallagher]